From Josh Claybourn, the following question:
What is something you feel you can't say in church, or around other Christians?
My answers:
- Youth ministries that: (1) effectively separate the youth off from the congregation as a whole, thus encouraging a "hive" mentality; (2) spend most of their energy trying to program "fun" events to bring in the masses; (3) spend little energy trying to disciple the kids already there; (4) don't speak honestly about sex; (5) teach the faith without any regard for the 2000 years behind it; (6) reduce the faith to a bunch of nice sounding moral platitudes; (7) fail to be a safe place to ask tough questions; (8) are run by some young guy with a cool goatee but no brain—suck. Really suck. Not only that, but they wreck the kids their supposed to help.
- Where are all the attractive and intelligent Christian single girls?
- Please don't ply me with your bullshit pop psychology in your sermons. If I want Oprah, I'll watch daytime TV. But I don't want Oprah.
- Most hymns written in the 20th century absolutely blow, both musically and lyrically. The tunes are hard to sing and the lyrics are namby-pamby.
- How come God feels so distant all the time?
- Please, if you're gonna do anything contemporary-sounding in church, get people who know how to play their instruments.
- We should celebrate the Eucharist every freakin' week, and we should invite the kiddos to the table to partake too.
- Why does the church's coffee and lemonade have to taste so bad?
- And (for the CRC people I worship with) there are colleges other than Calvin and Hope. I know it's hard to believe, but there are. Get your kids out of the weird Dutch bubble/Grand Rapids enclave.
5 comments:
I heard all of this, and I'm going to tell.
Great post, but you really should feel more free to speak your mind.
I manage the religion section in a large general interest bookstore. I found myself in a pleasant enough conversation with a Disciples of Christ minister about some of the new titles I'd put on the shelves, and he asked me what I thought about Tolle's A New Earth (Oprah's current push). I responded that while I hear it's not as ethereal and New Age-y as some of the New Age stuff, of course the minister would understand that Tolle's version of "a new earth" is grounded in some very different ideas than the Christian hope of a new Heaven and Earth where God reigns, etc. I recommended Tom Wright's Surprised by Hope.
He responded that he was thinking of using A New Earth in his congregation, to "expand their thinking." I almost asked him when he decided that the well of historic Christian orthodoxy had run dry for them, such that they had to turn to Eastern religion-influenced pseudo-traditions for their discipleship, but thought better of it.
Next time...
"Where are all the attractive, intelligent, single Christian girls?"
Dude, they're in my church. They'd probably like to meet you.
This is what I did say. It wasn't taken very well though.
"If all the people that need God are outside this building how come everything we do is inside it?"
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